I am a person who stutters – and I’m proud of that! If you’ve met me in person or attended one of my talks, my stuttering is plainly apparent. Although there are many people who stutter, it is not a very “visible” condition in the sense that few people talk about it. For this reason, I decided to collect a few questions that people have asked me about my stutter over the years.
I hope that this can be informative and also raise awareness of the stuttering experience. While my answers are personal, most of what I write here are common experiences for people who stutter.
Links
Stuttering FAQ
Q: What do you do to avoid stuttering?
I think that “avoiding stuttering” is the wrong goal. As I’ll explain below, I think that actively trying to avoid stuttering can have the ironic consequence of stuttering more. Instead, I would like to feel comfortable while speaking. Sometimes when I am comfortable I am more fluent, but I can be comfortable stuttering too!
I find that I am more comfortable speaking once I have “advertised” my stutter — that is, telling someone I have a stutter. Once the stutter is advertised, it is out there in the open and now there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of. It’s the “technique” that I use most and I even wished I used more.
Q. What causes you to stutter? When you are stuttering, does it mean you are nervous?
From a scientific perspective, the mechanisms for stuttering are not well understood: it is complex phenomenon that has both mechanical and neurological components. There is a growing body of literature on this and I’m unfortunately not on top of it — but other people are!
From a personal perspective, my stuttering is linked to a number of things: how much sleep I get, whether Mercury is in retrograde, and — yes, whether or not I am nervous. While it may seem natural to draw the conclusion “when Chris stutters, he is nervous”, that is not how it works. Well, not really.
So how does it work? Well, sometimes (not all the time!) my stutter will behave according to a positive feedback cycle: I am nervous about stuttering when speaking, so I will experience a natural tension which manifests in my vocal chords, causing me to stutter — this can make me more nervous, leading to positive feedback mechanism. Why am I nervous? I may be worried that the listener will get annoyed with the extra time I am taking to speak, be confused by my stuttered speech, or think I’m bashful or stupid. Of course, these fears are generally unfounded and it took me a good bit of speech therapy to realize and internalize this fact.
Q. Are there scenarios where you stutter more?
Yes, I tend to stutter more when I perceive some sort of time pressure in the conversation. Believe it or not, there are implicit expectations about time in normal everyday conversation. If you stutter, then you are much more keenly aware of them. Here are a few examples of the time pressure I am talking about:
- Ordering from a coffee shop or a bar, where your order is expected to be succinct and efficient.
- Sharing results in an impromptu meeting which begins with a collaborator catching me in the halls saying “I only have 3 minutes, tell me the latest progress!”
- Saying goodbyes as people start to turn and walk away during the end of a conversation.
I’ve found that I just can’t rush myself in these scenarios because if I do then I won’t be speaking comfortably. So when I take a little bit longer to say goodbye or order beer, it’s just that I’m going at my own pace.
Q: Do you know when you’re going to stutter? What do you do about that?
Yes, I can typically tell when I am about to stutter, usually a few words or half a sentence ahead. I can “see” the problematic word or phrase coming up. When I’m comfortable, I don’t mind just stuttering on the word — it’s how I speak! When I am uncomfortable, I will either (1) hit the word head-on and hope for the best (2) try to use a technique from speech therapy to “smooth” out the word or (3) use an “avoidance technique” where I swap the problematic word for another one. Option (3) is very undesirable because it leads you to say things that aren’t quite what you meant to say.
Q. Would you like me to finish your sentences when you are stuttering, or is this considered rude?
I would prefer that you do not finish my sentences. Although people are well intentioned here, it takes away my agency in speaking. How would you feel if I repeatedly told you I knew what you were going to say before you said it?
Q. What is the best way to support someone who stutters?
I find it most helpful when the person I’m talking with listens and doesn’t rush me. From my experience, this sentiment is shared by most though not all of the stuttering community.
As I mentioned, speaking under time pressure can be difficult for someone who stutters. It’s like having to juggle three balls while you are also trying to have a conversation. If you are designing a class or group activity which involves speaking, you might consider not placing short or strict time restrictions on participants, as this can dissuade a stutterer from speaking.
That being said, my experience has been that my own perception of self was more important to speaking comfortably than any specific accommodation from others. A big factor here (as I’ll describe later) was going to speech therapy as an adult and attending local chapter meetings of the National Stuttering Association.
Q: Do you like jokes about your stutter?
No, not really. The experience of stuttering has an extremely personal component which is hard to share or describe (though I’m trying here). As such, it’s been my experience that jokes from typically fluent people tend to fall flat or even be a little hurtful, even if they are well-intentioned. I’d prefer you not to make jokes about my stutter, unless you are very funny.
Q. How do you prefer to reference yourself in term of your stuttering, i.e. “a person who stutters” vs “a stutterer” ?
While this has received a lot of debate in the stuttering community, I don’t have a strong opinion on this. Personally, I think that our needs are better served when we focus our resources on more meaningful types of outreach and advocacy work, rather than on this particular linguistic question. That being said, I find myself saying “person who stutters” more.
Q. I am curious about your stuttering experience or in stuttering more generally. Are you open to discussing this, or is it rude to bring up?
Yes, I am very happy to talk about both my experience stuttering and stuttering more generally. I absolutely do not think this is rude to bring up. In fact, I think the people who are best positioned to talk about stuttering are us — the people who stutter. If we won’t talk about it, then who else will?
On several occasions, I have been asked to speak to young people (typically teenagers) who stutter. Young people are going through a tremendously tumultuous time trying to figure out who they are and understand their place in the world. It is one of my greatest joys to share my pride and experience in stuttering with them, as they navigate these issues themselves.
Q. As a person who stutters, what techniques do you practice for giving talks?
On the first slide of every talk, I have a bullet point which specifically reminds me to tell people that I stutter. I find that this sets the expectation early: I’ll be stuttering and that’s okay! This is an example of “advertising”. I also tend to rehearse talks more than my peers in order to feel comfortable articulating the key phrases I’ll use.
Q. What are some advantageous to being a person who stutters?
Stuttering presents unique challenges and we have the opportunity to grow from them. This often yields positive benefits for us and our broader communities. Barry Guitar calls these positive benefits “stutter gains”. He argues that stuttered speech can cause us to question the capitalist notion of “clock time” and “time efficiency” — okay, this is a bit heady but I agree. He also says that stuttering requires developing empathy for oneself which often translates to greater empathy for others.
Personally, I think that my stutter actually benefits my academic talks. In order to speak comfortably, I pretty much have to acknowledge my stutter — I have no choice but to do this. This acknowledgment requires some vulnerability right at the beginning of the talk. I’ve found that this breaks down a barrier between speaker and audience. By allowing myself to speak comfortably, I think the audience also feels that they can speak comfortably too. The discussions are less academically antagonistic and more productive and honest. At least, it feels this way to me!
I am a person who stutters, or I have a loved one who stutters. Where can we go to get more involved in the stuttering community?
Stuttering can sometimes be an isolating experience — but it doesn’t have to be. In order to feel a closer connection to the stuttering community, I recommend the following:
- The National Stuttering Association (NSA): The NSA has local chapters all over the country and in every major city. They meet about once a month and it’s a great place to talk about stuttering with other adults who stutter. They also hold special events.
- StutterTalk Podcast: This is a really wonderful podcast about stuttering run by people who stutter. I haven’t listened to every episode, but I really enjoyed the ones I have heard!
- Joshua St. Pierre. “The Construction of the Disabled Speaker: Locating Stuttering in Disability Studies”. CJDS. 2012. [link]: This informed my conception of stuttering quite a bit when I read it in 2020.
- Audacious: I was interviewed by Chion Wolf for her podcast Audacious, which airs on Connecticut Public Radio. It was a great experience to share what stuttering is like and how to celebrate it.